


Nothing Compares to U

by MaroonCamaro



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, Don't say I didn't tell ya, Gift Fic, Heavy Angst, Kinda, M/M, No Sex, Unrequited Love, sorry about that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-25 19:19:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18580933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaroonCamaro/pseuds/MaroonCamaro
Summary: Rick goes back to his old High School one last time before they tear it down.





	Nothing Compares to U

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KatyTheInspiredWorkaholic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatyTheInspiredWorkaholic/gifts).



> Written for my very, very, very good friend Katytheinspiredworkaholic for her birthday. She is quite lovely in real life. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone that gave it a looksee before I posted and especially to lotr58 for the full beta at the last minute. I made several changes after she looked at it, so any mistakes are mine.
> 
> *WArNiNG! If you are not an angst whore™️, then please read with caution. Thank you for reading!

“Tell me again why we're here?”

Rick suppressed his grimace and turned to his wife, “They’re gonna tear down the building and I wanted to see it one more time before they do.”

“Fine, I get that, but why do Carl and I need to be here?” She gestured around the expansive, dark, wood-paneled hall they were standing in.

“This is where I went to school before they built the new one, I figured ya’ll would want to see where I went to high school.”

She tilted her head and gave him an indulgent smile, “Rick, you have your yearbook you pull out every year in the spring. There’s plenty of pictures there.” She looked around, “It looks like most of the stuff is gone anyway.”

That was true, a lot was already gone, and people were dragging more out as they talked. 

“I know, but it’s not the same, ya know? There’s a smell? A feeling that I get when I’m here.” He tried to make her understand, but she just didn’t.

Rick sighed and looked around again. The building was going to be demolished in a couple of days and the building had been opened to scrappers and collectors. Most of the good stuff was gone. All the lockers and other metal had been taken the first few days to be recycled. Rick wasn’t even sure what he would even be after. He mostly just wanted one more walk down the long hallway to the gym.

Gym had always been his favorite class. He loved the big open space and running around the edge of the basketball court. And the locker room. No one really knew about that. Just one person ever. 

“Listen, I think I heard something about pizza in the cafeteria and Carl is hungry. Why don’t you take some time and walk around and me and Carl will get some pizza.” Lori held up her cellphone, “I’ll call you when we’re done and we can meet up with you. Maybe you’ll find what you are looking for by then?”

Rick smiled at her and gave her a quick peck on the lips, “Thanks. I’ll try and be quick, but I don’t really know what I’m looking for just yet.”

She patted his arm, “I know.” She looked down at their son, just three years old and already ready to tackle the world. “Come on, Carl. Let’s get some pizza and then we can go to the park.”

Carl jumped up and down, his face split with a wide grin, arms flailing wildly, “Yay!” 

“I’ll call you if I find what I’m looking for,” Rick reassured her. He was already looking over her head, down the long hallway where the gym beckoned.  

“C’mon, mommy,” Carl said, pulling on Lori’s hand.  

“Ok, ok!” She laughed as he pulled her along.

Rick didn’t even watch them walk away like he normally would, so lost in thought as he wandered down the hall. All the lockers were gone, so it didn’t look quite the same. But the doors to the classrooms hadn’t changed. 

There was Mrs. Blanco’s room. She’d always been a hoot. A little overly obsessed with Star Trek and Dr. Who, but she always made class fun.

And there was Mr. Hamilton’s class. He’d had a laid back and unassuming way of teaching history. Rick always thought it was funny that their teacher had the same last name as such a major historical figure, but Mr. Hamilton never even acknowledged it.

On down the hall he went, imagining it full of shouting students. Over there by the water fountain (well, where the water fountain used to be) was where he’d gotten into that big fight with Shane senior year. Lori was the one who convinced Rick to talk to Shane again. She’d liked Shane the moment she’d met him.

The school had been built in the 30s, so everything had a patina on it that was hard to explain. Walls had layer upon layer of paint, wood trim had darkened from golden oak to an almost mahogany color. And it smelled…well, it didn’t smell like it had when he’d been a student. The school had been empty for almost 10 years while the county and the school board decided what to do with the building. Talks of condos and apartments went around, but it never happened. This side of town wasn’t much of a residential area anymore since they started putting up the warehouses and distribution centers for all the big box and online stores. No, they were going to raze the building and put another huge warehouse in its place. At least all involved in the sale had allowed the residents to say goodbye.

Rick sidestepped a man that was carrying an old globe and another who had a couple of yardsticks. They must have dug way in the back of the building to find them; they looked to be from way before Rick’s time in the school.

The door to the gym was propped open with a doorstop and Rick could see that all the bleachers were gone as were the drapes that had hung from the stage. All the pennants from past sports seasons that had hung from the rafters were gone too. Then again, they may have been taken down the year they closed the school.  

“Hey, buddy! You gonna be here long? We’re gonna start pulling up the floor.”

Rick looked at the group of men that had walked in behind them. They all had various tools and had an air of being quite capable of pulling up the floor. “I’m gonna head to the locker room, I can go out the back way,” he said as he gestured to the far end of the gym.

There was an exit door and an old staircase on the other side that led to the upper parts of the gym. It had been closed off when Rick had gone to school, but the spot under the stairs had been a great hangout spot during dances and during lunch if he had the time. At least until the teachers and chaperones showed up. 

Rick made it to the locker room finally. It didn’t look anything like it had looked when he had used it. The walls were painted a soft green instead of the loud red that it had been. And all the lockers and benches were gone. Peeking into one of the toilet stalls he saw that the bowl was dark with dank water. He wrinkled up his nose and headed to the shower stalls.

Here the tiles had cracked and some sort of ivy was growing out of one of the drains. The windows on the far wall were cracked and broken, letting in even more plants that grew along the walls. Shuddering, Rick left. So much for that nostalgia. 

The staircase was, blissfully, exactly as he remembered it. The whole thing was made of wood and creaked like any good staircase would if you were to go up and down its well-trodden steps. There were indentations where hundreds or even thousands of people had gone up and down in the seventy odd years it had been in service. Rick ran a hand along the handrail. It looked like it could be in some mansion instead of a forgotten alcove behind a gym. It felt like satin under his fingers.  

Checking to make sure no one was looking, he ducked behind the stairs to the spot underneath. There was a bench against the wall, probably built at the same time, that had been Rick’s favorite spot to hide out when he was in school. He’d come here after the fight with Shane and...well, he’d felt a lot better after.

He sat down and closed his eyes, bringing the memory up. Shane had been pissed that Rick was talking to the weird kid. Rick had liked the weird kid. His wide shoulders, the mole above his lip, and those fucking eyes that burned right into Rick’s soul.

His phone beeped in his hand.  _ How ya doing? Want me to save you a piece of pizza? _

_ nah, it’ll be cold. I can wait until dinner _

_ K’ they’ve got some pictures up and Carl wants to look at them, we’ll be ready in a few minutes _

_ I’ll find ya in a few  _

Almost immediately his phone rang, Lori calling. Rick frowned and answered it. “Told ya I’d find you in a few minutes.”

“Sorry, Rick. It’s just that Carl spilled his Coke all over him and now he’s crying. Are you ready now?”

Rick sighed, “I can be.”

“You know what, today is the last day you’ll have with your school. I’ll take him home and change him and then come back and get you. Does that sound like you would have enough time if I did that?”

“You don’t have to do that, I can…”

She cut him off, “No, this is important to you and you should get the time you need. I’ll be back in an hour or so.” She paused and Rick could hear Carl crying softly, “Maybe a bit longer, I think he needs a nap and a bath.”

He closed his eyes and rested his head on the wall. “You sure about this, Lori?” 

“Yeah, as long as you are ok with hanging out for a while there?”

“I think so, there’s some guys tearing up the gym floor, I might give them a hand.”

“ _ Mommy _ !”

“All right, I think we better go, I’ll call you when we are on the way.”

“Ok. Love you.” But the phone was already dead. She usually said it first, but her mind was clearly on the distraught Carl.

The phone dropped out of his hand and fell on the floor. Rick let it be. He just wanted to sit in the semi-silence for a few minutes. He could hear the muted sounds of the men working on the far end of the gym floor. He’d get up and help them in a minute. Right now their sounds reminded him of what the gym sounded like back in the day during lunch while he was hiding beneath the stairs. 

Sometimes he’d fall asleep to the sounds of the school.

Rick jerks and rubbed his eyes. The light had changed and the men’s voices seem closer. But that’s not what had woken him up.

“Daryl?”

“Hey.”

He was the same; head down, staring at Rick though his bangs. But he was different; standing taller, shoulders wider and just  _ harder  _ all over. More weathered and world weary. The look in his eyes was the same though. 

Rick knew Daryl only looked at him like that, no one else. A mix of hunger and hope. It had taken Shane bitching about how pissy Daryl looked all the time before Rick realized the looks he got were totally different.

“Figured you’d be here." Daryl said with a light twitch of his lips. "You’re such a sap.”  That was something else only Rick had been privy to. That smile. 

“Needed to say goodbye,” Rick was just barely able to quell his desire to reach out and touch, flashes of Carl and Lori staying his hand.

“Just a bad memory for me.”

Rick cocked his head to the side, “Can’t be all bad.”

Daryl chewed his lip and looked over his shoulder to where the men pulling up the floor could be heard cussing.”Maybe not.”

“Hey,” Rick said softly.

Daryl looked back at Rick, “Told ya, didn’t come to see about the school.”

“You knew I’d be here.”

Shrugging, Daryl looked away again.

“Sit beside me,” Rick offered.

“Nah, I don’t think that’d be a good idea.”

“You came to see me, but you don’t want to sit by me?”

“Dangerous,” Daryl didn’t quite growl, but it was close.

Rick snorted and patted the seat, “I don’t bite.”

Daryl crossed his arms, “It ain’t that and you know it.”

Nodding, Rick said, “I get it.”

“I should go, I’m sure you’re wife is here somewhere.”

“She took Carl home to get him cleaned up. He spilled Coke on himself.”

“Carl? That his name?”

“Yeah, I thought you knew?”

Daryl shrugged again. “Ain’t like we’re in the same social circles.”

“I’m sorry, you know. For how it all turned out.”

“I’m just glad it wasn’t you that got kicked out of school.”

“Daryl, you know I stood up for you.”

“Didn’t matter, I soiled the most popular kid in school, so it was me that had to go.” Daryl rubbed his bottom lip with his thumb, “The school for troubled boys took me in. At least it was only for a few months.”

“Fuck Daryl, I…”

“Save it.” Daryl held his hand up to forestall anymore apologies from Rick.  “I don’t want to rehash it again. I know what happened. You don’t need to worry about me. I’m doin’ fine.”

Rick rubbed a hand over his face, “I wish…”

“Wishin’ ain’t gonna change anything. Man, you got a great life going, I can tell. Stop already.”

Letting out a long breath, Rick nodded. “You’re right.”

Reaching into his pocket, Daryl said, “I wanted to give you somethin’ though.”

He pulled out two keychains. One looked like a miniature lock and the other the key that fit into it. “I know it’s kinda dumb, but…”

Rick’s fingers twitched as he ached to hold a tangible reminder of Daryl. His first love.

“Gonna give you the key, and…” Daryl paused and blinked hard, “And I’ll keep the lock.”

“Daryl,” Rick took a step forward, but Daryl took two steps back. 

“Don’t, I can’t.” His voice broke on a small sob.

“Fuck, Daryl. Don’t do this to me.”

Daryl held out the keychain, “Just take it. I just need you to take it.”

Rick nodded and extended his arm. Daryl scrunched his eyes closed for a moment and then dropped the little key into Rick’s outstretched hand. Rick wanted to say something, but his phone chirped. He wanted to ignore it, but he knew it was Lori coming to pick him up.

“I think about you all the time, ya know. I know it wasn’t meant to be, but I ain’t…I can’t.  Fuck. There won’t ever be anyone like you, Rick. And I know I wasn’t ever going to be good enough for you. But you…” A tear fell from Daryl’s cheek. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me and no one compares to you.”

“Daryl…” 

Rick’s phone chirped again. 

“I know it’s your wife. You should answer it.”

“We ain’t done talking,” Rick protested.

Daryl chewed his lip and looked behind him again before reaching out and pulling Rick close. “I want to kiss you so much,” he said. But instead, he ran his thumb across Rick’s bottom lip. “This is the spot where I kissed you. Do you remember?”

Rick remembered. He remembered how Daryl had pulled him close and wrapped Rick in his arms. And how Daryl’s whole body had been in that kiss. Daryl was staring at his lips now, remembering too.  

Rick was lost in the moment, not even caring about the men just a few feet away, until his phone rang.

Daryl instantly pulled away. “Guess she don’t like to be kept waitin’.”

“No, that she don’t.” Rick picked the phone up from where it had fallen on the floor earlier and answered it. “Sorry Lori, I feel asleep under the steps.”

He looked up to try and catch Daryl’s eye to ask him to wait until he was done, but Dary was already gone. Rick held back his sigh, lest Lori think it was him. .

“No, sorry. Just lots of memories and I’m sad to see them go. Yeah, I’m headed out now.”

***

Lori’s eyes widened in shock when she saw Rick standing in front of the building. “Rick? Are you okay?” She got out of the car and put a hand on his face, “Honey, I didn’t know this school meant that much to you. We can wait a bit more if you want.” 

“Nah, I don’t think I need to.”

Lori looked down at Rick’s hand where he was holding the keychain, “Did you find something?”

“Yeah, got it under the stairs.”

Just then there was a loud roar as a motorcycle pulled out of the parking lot. Rick closed his eyes and willed himself not to look. Next to him Lori sighed as she put the car in gear. “I’ll never understand why men like to have such loud motorcycles.”

Daryl’s voice floated through Rick’s mind, “ _Keeps me safe. Dumbasses can hear me comin’_ ,” he’d said when Rick had asked that same question years ago. 

Lori didn’t really need an answer, so Rick just rubbed his new keychain and let his head fall back against the headrest as Lori drove them home, the sound of the motorcycle fading away. 

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry, Katy loves angst and unrequited love and that's what she got. It hurt my heart to write it.
> 
> And, if you are a regular reader (thank you so much!) you know I just posted a birthday fic for bennyhatter that was much, much shorter. In my defense, I knew it was benny's birthday for about an hour and Katy's birthday has been on my calendar for a couple of years. Benny will get the full treatment next time. 
> 
> I really appreciate your comments, kudos, and bookmarks! And please wish Katy a happy birthday!


End file.
